Changes, Manfriends, etc.

Something has to be said of the simple fact that time seems to pass much faster when you look at past blog posts. I don't quite know how to sum up what has been going on in my life since the last time I wrote on the interweb, but I thought I might show a little photo montage to make it easier.

College Graduation:

 Roomies Post-Graduation Vacation:

Backstreet Boys Concert and After Party (Where I had a picture with three of the BBS and a selfie with AJ):

 Visit to a Wolf Sanctuary:

General K-9 bonding time:

Other Shenanigans:

Yes.

I graduated.

I have gotten over the shock, but there is definitely some sadness that continues to linger.

Especially as I continue to fill out job applications.

I texted my mom today and I quote: "If I could punch job applications in the face, I totally would." Needless to say the job hunt has not been a bundle of joy. And even though I am a ball of stress just thinking about how I don't have a job right now, I will look back on this crazy summer with appreciation. This summer has been a whirlwind of crazy adventures and wonderful changes.

Let's list a few:

1. I no longer live with my roommates or three years. This is not only really hard for me to get past, but something that I have no choice but to get over. Eventually. On the plus side, one of my roommates now has her own apartment in Pittsburgh which is not far from me. I have already made a weekend trip there and am planning another as we speak. My other two roommates are in Atlanta and (will soon be) in Seattle. Basically we are all super far away from each other and not down the hall from each other anymore. I can't stress how depressed this makes me when I let myself think about it.

2. I am now living in Columbus, Ohio. Mind you, I do not have a place of my own yet (that would necessitate a job) but I am living with a wonderful couple who I met through working at my college. They have graciously allowed me into their home, for an unlimited amount of time, making it easier for me to focus on finding work instead of freaking out about being a hobo (although that is a HUGE fear of mine). 

3. I am no longer single. If I could sing it from roof tops or mountain tops or any other kind of tops, I would. I met him at school, a fellow Education major with the addition of an English major, and while I tend to be very outgoing he is more reserved. We balance each other out very nicely and he is just plan fun to be around. All the feels...

4. This summer I have managed to read more than is healthy.

5. I learned how to quilt.

6. The number of antique shops I have been to is more than any elder person has gone to in their whole lives.

7. I need my own dog. I've had dreams about it. That's how you know it's something you really need.

8. My obsession for the Food Network has been confirmed. However, I also have a new obsession with YouTubers. Specifically Connor Franta, Ricky Dillion, Tyler Oakley, and all those people. I think I just like to live vicariously through them because they have such cool lives. Also, we all know we love to get the details on other people's lives. Let's be real.

9. My sleeping patterns are getting really messed up.

10. I want to buy a film camera. Badly.

Now that we got all those things out of the way, lets talk about the future for a moment.

Next week is actually going to be really exciting. On Wednesday, my Manfriend (my boyfriend, but I have a friend from high school who doesn't like the term boyfriend. We are adults, after all. We aren't dating boys.) comes back to Ohio (he's been with his family all summer) and we will probably be seeing How to Train Your Dragon 2 that very same day because we are both obsessed. With no shame whatsoever. I saw it by myself the first time, if that tells you anything. 

On Thursday I am having lunch with my favorite professor from college and then later that night I am going to a free - I repeat FREE - concert in Columbus featuring Kongos and special guest artist. I am so pumped. I have recently become a huge fan of the band and it felt like this concert fell beautifully in my lap. It was fate, I tell ya!  

Even tomorrow is going to be fun. I'll be hiking in Hocking Hills, which is this beautiful spot that has a bunch of caves and all that jazz. I'm gonna be strapping on my boots and getting hardcore about some caves. Spelunking, anyone?

Alright, Sandman, where the heck are you??

I would just like to point out that it is currently 12:04am and I am awake.
This is an injustice.
You would think that after having gone to bed at a very late hour last night (morning) and waking up early-ish this morning I would be granted the permission by my body to sleep right now.
Nope.
I lay in bed....thinking about the air so as not to think about the work I wasn't able to get done today....
and nothing.
Not even a hint of slumber on the edges of my consciousness.
Just a lot of wide open eyes.
Restless limbs.
A mind so tightly packed with thoughts, concerns, and general anxiety.
How is anyone supposed to sleep like that?

It's simple: they aren't.

So I get up, check off another thing in my planner, wish I was sleeping, and decide to write a blog about how annoying it is to not be able to sleep.
Sorry 'bout that, for whoever is reading this.
A girl can only read textbooks for so long before her eyes begin to cross.
It's an honest problem that needs to have some sort of remedy.
If there is one, I have yet to find it.
Dang it.

On a more exciting note....nope. I don't even think I can be exciting at this time of night.
Morning.
Whatever.
Have I mentioned how terrible it is that I am going to be a real adult soon? Because when I look at the calender and it tells me I only have four more months of school before I graduate, my mind is thoroughly blown. Seriously. An atomic bomb goes off in my head every time I think about how close my graduation date is without having any idea about where I will be, what I will be doing, and how the heck I'm going to pay for wherever it is I end up living. I'm pretty sure I will have an ulcer by the time May rolls around.
If these feelings are normal then I apologize to anyone younger than me for what you will have to go through eventually and really appreciate everyone older than me who has already lived this uncertainty.
Bravo to you. Truly.
Because I feel like a slug every time I think of what I am supposed to do with my life after college.
Or to put it more plain I feel like I might upchuck.
No big deal.

Right.
That was pleasant.
Hope y'all have been good.
I'm gonna go try to bore myself to death in order to fall asleep.
Wish me luck.

Sweater Weather (Which is also a song. Y'all should look it up).

The time of year has come upon me again. The time of year when all my finals are done, all the papers are written, and I have no academic responsibilities for a whole month.
Winter Break.
This is both a glorious and tedious time of year.
I mean no harm to my family members who will read this post.
I love you all and love coming home to see everyone and finally spend some time with all of you crazies, but after two and a half weeks I crave the company of someone my own age. Someone to go out and listen to music with me late at night who also has no obligations because...imagine that! They are on break, too.
And honestly, I have some great family that will go out with me and listen to music or shop around or grab a coffee and chat for a few hours, but there is something about the company of someone your own age that changes the scene a little bit.
Hopefully some of that makes sense.

Either way, the break has come and I have five weeks to do things I don't have a lot of time at school to do:
Read for fun.
Play my uke.
Play with the dogs.
Upgrade my phone.
Cook.
Eat.
Paint my nails.
Go to dives and honky tonks in Nashville and listen to music.
Bug musicians about when they are playing next (because I have an "in").
Terrorize my mother.
Do laundry without having to pay.
Shower for as long as the water stays hot.
Decorate the Christmas tree.
Make a mess because it drives my mom nuts.
Hang with my uncle and aunt when they doesn't have to work.
Bug my Babajo (grandmother) even though she is supposed to be working.
Take my camera out for a walk.
Search for 40mm film for my camera.
Blog about nonsense.
Think about illegally downloading music (because who actually does that and doesn't feel guilty for cheating the musicians out of their hard-earned cash?)
Draw.
Paint.
Watch movies.
Bake.
Play Little Horse, Big Horse with the fam.
Eat again.
Sleep (when my internal alarm lets me).
Go thrifting for sweaters. (Freaking love thrifting).
Visit my Papa in the hospital (just got a double knee replacement).
Make stupid lists.
Dance around the living room.
Surf the web.
Youtube.
Hulu.
Go slowly insane.

Yup.
That about covers it.
Great time of year.
Very productive.
*snickers*

Procrastination sounds like...

I'm definitely getting the work done.
Right now.
Hell, yeah.
Productivity.
Let me just check my email to see if the Prof emailed me back.
Hmmm...nope.
What is with that?
It's the age of technology and it takes hours for Profs to get back to us.
#firstworldproblems
Well, since I'm on the internet, I might as well check Facebook.
OH! A notification!
Dang...just someone else commenting on something I liked.
Hey, this looks like a cool video.
Haha...puppies.
No.
No.
I need to get this stuff done for tomorrow.
Right. Now.
Hey, I forgot to look up that song I noted down last night.
I'll just do that real quick.
*two hours later*
Dang, that's a bomb diggity song.
What the heck...10pm?!
How did that happen?!
Right, now I have to stop screwing around!
Enough is enough.
I need to get my head in the game.
*5 minutes of reminiscing about High School Musical*
Okay.
I will stop and get to work.
Finally get stuff done.
Jesus, I don't want to do this.


This is about what goes on in my head as I try to get stuff done and I only have 3 days until I go home for winter break. It's torturous because I'm doing it to myself. All this work really isn't that hard, there is just a lot of busy work and I hate that. Doesn't feel like there is any real purpose to it, but that's life. If you are currently procrastinating, then I will help out because that is the kind of lady I am.

Here is a song I am currently listening to on repeat:
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93ASUImTedo

The beat for this song gets be every time. I don't care how I'm feeling, what I'm doing, or where I am I will literally start wiggling and bobbing because I need to move when I listen to it.
Good jam.
As I struggle to focus, I hope you have an easier time than me.
If you are just like me...glad to know we are kindred spirits.
But, I'm going to stop writing and get back to work.
For real.
Maybe.


...Probably not.

Thinking Some Thoughts

Hey everyone!

I'm not going to write a whole post seeing as I should be editing my work for a creative writing portfolio, but I was eating breakfast and watching some videos and came across this one. Thought everyone should see it!
Hope you have a great day today!

http://www.upworthy.com/something-every-teacher-should-watch-and-student-and-person?c=reccon1

Musical Disorder

I had a thought the other day when I was browsing around Youtube looking for some new musical awesomeness that I think I have a problem. For some this might not seem that strange, so maybe you have a problem, too. (Food for thought.)
I think I have a Musical Disorder.
Sounds weird, right?
I mean, in today's society, what with electronics taking over our world, everyone is plugged in all the time. So it shouldn't seem that strange that I have a Musical Disorder.
Obsession is probably a better term.
Technicalities and such.
Let me list the reasons why I think it is a real problem:

1. The other night I probably spent a good two to three hours looking around on the internet for new songs/bands to listen to. Part of that process involved looking up the website for the radio station my mom listens to (102.9 The Buzz out of Nashville, in case you are curious) and proceeding to look up all the artists I had never heard of before - including Alt-J, Young the Giant, Twenty One Pilots, and Artctic Monkeys.
2. I have dated a drummer and continue to find band members extremely attractive. The moment I find out someone can play an instrument - doesn't matter what it is - they are automatically 100% more attractive. I understand this is a problem, but I can't stop it.
3. I can happily listen to a song or album on repeat for hours or days with absolutely no problem. It will never become annoying, boring, or uninteresting. Figure that one out.
4. I purposely bought a used iPod classic (used because I am poor) because I would be able to fit all my music on that amazing 80 gig box of magic.It lasted through my abroad travels and then died when I got home. I was devastated. I still have no idea what is wrong with it and it sits on my desk, lonely and begging me to fix it. Don't worry, Edna, you will be fixed as soon as I can afford it!
5. I play my music ridiculously loud when I have my earbuds in because I like feeling as if there is a tiny concert going on in my head. My roommates have constantly scared the crap out of me because I had no idea they were behind me since I couldn't hear them. I am currently not the best at hearing and I have a feeling by the age of 50 I will need hearing aids. Whatevs.
6. I am not too picky about what genre I listen to. I will admit that I am not a huge country fan - I realize that I am from Nashville and should love it, but this is not the case. I honestly have gotten a lot better at appreciating this genre, for example Josh Turner can do no wrong, but I still hold some reservations on it.  However, I like basically everything else: punk, pop, indie, alternative, metal, rap, electronic, etc. 
7. I absolutely love going to concerts. It doesn't matter if it is a huge sold out concert or a little show in a restaurant or backyard. I love going to see live music to the point of craziness. My college has something called D-Day (Denison Day) and they bring someone to our college every year to play. This year I got to see Matt and Kim play. It was freaking amazing. I had only heard a few of their songs before, but it was so fun to go and see how into it they get when they play. I love the vibe of a good audience, the lights, the excitement, and the feeling you get when the concert ends and you step outside thinking, "That was probably the most fantastic thing I have seen in months." It's a religious experience of sorts.
8. When I am walking around anywhere and I am plugged into my iPod, I catch myself constantly pretending to play the drums, which I have no idea how to play and bobbing my head as I keep the beat with the song. I have seen people stare and I have no shame enjoying my music. People should try it sometime, it feels pretty good to jam out when you are heading somewhere.
9. Whenever I am in the car, the music MUST be on. I not only feel awkward in silent vehicles, but I feel like the ride is not as enjoyable. Because it's not. We can talk and listen to music at the same time. It happens all the time.
10. I am your typical poor college student and I constantly have to battle with myself when it comes to buying music. I will basically tease myself and see how much albums cost and then have to talk myself out of buying it because in my head I know that I need to save my money for when I graduate - which is way too soon - but I have this terrible need to buy music. I can almost always talk myself out of it, but I have had times when it was impossible. I've even gone half and half  with friends before for an album that I wanted because I knew that friend wanted the album, too (The Great Gatsby album is an example).

So, yeah.

I'm almost positive I have a real problem.

I even write blogs about music.

Case and point: this blog.

Jesus.

Love those thighs, ladies.

I want to spend this blog talking about what we think about, hear about, and obsess over all the damn time: Beauty. The way we look. Sometimes I wish it wasn't even a thing. I think as  human beings we would be so much happier if we didn't think about it, if we didn't care about it.

I bring this up because this link popped up on my Facebook:
http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?g=2

I think it is great this is being circulated around so much because it is really important.
Every day we see ads and other things of women and men who - I am almost positive - are not as happy as the photographer made them out to look.

Let me break this down for everyone.
I am a 21 year old woman who has always been hyper aware of my looks (as I sure everyone is). There are days when I wear an outfit and think I am rocking it...only to wear it later and think I look absolutely hideous because my thighs are huge and the muffin top is visible.
It's overwhelming how awful those thought are, but how can we stop them when everyone is always pointing at them? Ads want you to be as ecxiting as that couple in the commercial, stores might not carry your size because they don't want a person with meat on their bones to wear their clothes, and celebrities are usually no help.

When I have a daughter/son one day how will I make her believe that she/he is beautiful if everyone else is telling her she needs long blonde hair, big boobs, and no hips. Which is physically impossible, by the way. How the hell do people think woman are capable of carrying babies? It's all in the hips people!

Honestly, I'm not skinny and I am working every single day to be 100% okay with that. Because I don't think anyone who really matters cares very much about it, if at all. It might sound corny, but I make sure to look myself in the eye every morning and tell myself that I am beautiful just the way I am. All the problems I could see with myself, no one else sees anyway! For example, my best friend always complains that her calves are super big - their not - and I never understand why she says that because she is healthy and lovely in every single way. I think she is one of the most beautiful woman I have ever met, but she thinks her calves are too big.

What the heck is with the world?!

I'd like to be an example here of what people actually want to see.
When I look at magazines and see what they think a hot guy look like, I never really fall for it. Yeah, he is nice to look at, but who the heck wants to cuddle on the couch with a rock?? No one, that's who.

Let's look at these guys -

(I have a type. Sue me.)

These guys are healthy, but not super macho and I LOVE that! You just want to get close and nuzzle, for goodness sake. 

Come one, who doesn't?

Same goes with these women - 

These women are gorgeous! They are curvy and who wouldn't want to be? No one wants to cop a feel from a woman who is all bones. I'm just sayin'. 

So from now on, I am going to think of only the good things about myself. Sure, I need to get into shape, but that is completely different than losing weight to be thin so everyone will love me. That's just a bunch of bull. And you know it. 

Love yourselves people. It's probably one of the biggest turn-on's in the history of the world.

Fact.